Coping Through the Holidays: Maintaining Progress on Your Eating Disorder Recovery
For individuals in recovery from an eating disorder, this time of year can bring added stress, anxiety, and challenges. The pressure to meet social expectations, manage food-related triggers, and navigate family dynamics can feel overwhelming. If you're working on healing, it can be particularly tough to maintain progress amidst the emotional strain that holidays sometimes bring.
However, it is possible to honor your recovery during the holidays while still engaging in the festivities. Here are some tips to help you stay grounded and continue making progress, even during this potentially difficult time.
Gain awareness of potential triggers or difficult situations
It can be helpful to identify potential triggers and stressful situations during holiday events. Attempt to gather some information about your holiday events ahead of time such as time, location, who will be there and what and how food will be served. Recall what has been challenging for you in the past. Maybe it was diet culture talk around food, weight and body topics. Perhaps it was the potluck style of serving that left you frozen, not knowing what or how much to put on your plate. Maybe it was the feeling of fullness that was triggering to you. Once you can identify the difficult situations, you can work to create a coping plan to increase your chances of maintaining recovery through the stress. Here is an example of a coping plan:
Triggering event:
Emotion prompted by triggering event:
Urge prompted by the emotion:
Coping strategies to mitigate the trigger, regulate the emotion, or manage the urge:
2. Plan Ahead for Stressful Situations
Social gatherings can be one of the most difficult parts of the holiday season. Food-focused events, family dinners, and office parties often trigger anxiety or exacerbate negative thoughts. It can be helpful to plan ahead to manage these situations effectively.
Pre-talk with trusted family members or friends: Let them know about your recovery and how they can support you. This might include not making comments on what or how much you’re eating, or offering a quiet space if you need to take a break.
Make a Meal Plan for the day:
Eat on a regular schedule prior to and after the event meal (every 3 to 4 hours is recommended!).
Plan what you will put on your plate so you don’t feel stuck with decisions or portioning. Prepare for potluck, family style or buffet style.
Take desserts or holiday treats off of a pedestal. Work them into your plan for the day.
Move away from the eating area after the meal
Use distraction after the meal to ride the wave of any ED urges
Bring your own dish: If you're worried about having control over what's available, consider bringing a dish or snack that you know is safe for you. This gives you something to rely on without feeling restricted by what's served.
Set time limits: If you’re anxious about being at a social gathering for too long, set a time limit for yourself. Allow yourself to attend and enjoy, but give yourself an exit strategy if the stress becomes overwhelming.
Create a buffer: Take time before or after an event for self-care. Whether it’s a walk, meditation, or journaling, having space to reset can help prevent negative thoughts from building up. Take a break during the event by stepping outside or retreat to a quiet room.
3. Develop New Traditions
For many people, holidays are rooted in food traditions that can feel triggering during recovery. Instead of avoiding these traditions altogether, think about ways to create new, non-food-centered traditions. These could be:
Engaging in fun activities: Whether it’s watching a favorite holiday movie, going ice skating, or volunteering for a cause you care about, activities that don’t focus on food can help shift your focus and bring joy.
Focusing on gratitude: Start a gratitude journal or share what you're thankful for with loved ones. Reflecting on what’s meaningful beyond food can help foster positive emotions.
Mindful gift-giving: Consider focusing on giving thoughtful, non-material gifts that foster connection, such as crafting something by hand, offering a heartfelt letter, or planning an experience like a walk or a coffee date.
4. Practice Self-Compassion
Holidays can stir up a lot of emotional baggage—old wounds, difficult family dynamics, and unrealistic body expectations. It’s easy to fall into a pattern of self-criticism, especially when the world around you seems to celebrate indulgence or appearance. This is where self-compassion becomes vital.
Recognize that recovery is a journey, and it’s normal to have difficult days. Be gentle with yourself. If you find yourself slipping into old thought patterns, try not to judge yourself harshly. Instead, focus on the progress you've made. Recovery is about learning to treat yourself with kindness, especially when you feel vulnerable or out of control.
Recite Recovery Facts or Affirmations: Repeat positive affirmations to combat negative self-talk or eating disorder thoughts. Examples: "I'm allowed to eat for comfort, social connection and pleasure", "There is no one day of eating that will change or impact my body", "I'm allowed to say no", "I'm allowed to leave when I want", "I do not have to participate in conversations about food, weight and body", "I do not have to get sucked in to diet culture", “I am allowed to enjoy the holidays without guilt”
Pause and breathe: When anxiety hits, take a moment to pause and breathe deeply. Ground yourself in the present moment, and remind yourself that you are doing your best. Recovery is not about being perfect; it’s about progress.
5. Reach Out for Support
It’s important to remember that you're not alone in your recovery journey. The holidays can sometimes feel isolating, but reaching out for support can make a world of difference.
Therapists and Support Groups: If you're in therapy or attending a support group, check in with your therapist or group members about how you're feeling during the holidays. Many groups also offer holiday-specific sessions or check-ins to help people stay on track.
Lean on safe supports: Having a strong support system is essential in recovery. If you're struggling, don't hesitate to reach out to friends, family, or others in your support network. They may not always understand exactly what you’re going through, but they can provide the reassurance and encouragement you need.
Online Communities: If you’re unable to meet with someone in person, consider joining online support communities. Many people in recovery from eating disorders find comfort in connecting with others who understand their experience.
6. Tune Out Diet Culture
The holidays can be a time when diet culture is especially loud—whether through advertising, social media, or family comments. It’s easy to get caught up in the emphasis on weight, appearance, and “healthy eating.” Instead, try to focus on your recovery goals: nourishing your body, listening to your needs, and maintaining mental and emotional balance.
Ask trusted family members to avoid discussing food, weight and body topics during holiday events. If body image concerns or diet talk arise, remind them of your request to avoid these topics. Or, you can step away from the conversation or attempt to quickly change the subject to a neutral topic.
7. Give Yourself Permission to Rest
The holidays are often a whirlwind of activity, but it’s crucial to give yourself permission to rest. Rest isn’t just about sleep—it’s about finding space to recharge emotionally and mentally. Engage in activities that soothe and restore your well-being, whether that’s taking a long bath, reading, practicing mindfulness, or saying no to commitments that drain you.
It’s also important to rest from the pressures of comparison—whether that’s comparing your progress to others or the idea of a “perfect” holiday experience. Your recovery journey is unique to you, and it’s okay to honor it in a way that fits your needs. Learning how to decrease comparisons and allow yourself to rest are skills that are taught in our Radically Open DBT program. These are not strategies that come natural to a lot of us, but they can be learned!
Conclusion
The holidays can be a time of joy, but they can also be a season of struggle for those recovering from eating disorders. By planning ahead, setting boundaries, and practicing self-compassion, you can navigate the season with your progress in recovery intact. Remember, recovery is a marathon, not a sprint. Take it one day at a time, celebrate your victories, and give yourself permission to take breaks when needed. You are worthy of healing, peace, and joy, both now and in the future.
If you need extra support this holiday season, reach out to The Current to get set up with a therapist. Or, grab our worksheet: Coping Through The Holidays on our Resources page.
Wishing you a compassionate, peaceful holiday season.